We Have To Be Nice
It's like a dirty, little secret; You have to be nice to get housing. Then - you have to stay nice to retain it.
The way housing agencies work - there's invariably an "interview"; Though it's called different things, at different places. That's where the caseworker sizes you up - how you comport yourself, your literacy skills (or lack thereof), your physical appearance and general inclination to cooperate. It's a holdover from the 'old days', when housing was only given to people assessed by some arbitrary rating of 'housing ready', or 'in need of further services, before placement.' Those would more than likely get referred to 'transitional housing', as opposed to permanent. It's all judgment calls, based on a top-secret and random scale.
From the homeless person's perspective (which I can give, having been homeless several times, throughout my life); We could be having the worst day, gotten nothing but bad news, been insulted a number of different ways, several different times - that doesn't matter. Come time for the housing intake interview - we'd better suck it up, forget it - and walk in like we just won the lottery.
Shucking, jiving, smiling and being overly solicitous is always acceptable. If they deign to ask how you are - it's expected that you'll lie, and say: "Fine." If you break down and show any kind of frustration, anger or resistance - you'll be marked as 'uncooperative', and/or 'unprepared for permanent placement.'
Your worker is not your friend. So, don't even think about confiding such relevant information as - you're just at the end of your damn rope. You've shopped your voucher around, all over town, and gotten more than a few rejections, based on nothing but - air. Or, your ex is really excited about your new apartment, and you don't have the nerve to tell him/her they can't move in with you. That's most definitely your problem, not your workers.
By all means - do not indicate any problems with either your current or past landlord. That's an automatic 'no'; Because, no matter what the situation is/was - it'll invariably end up being your fault.
So, be nice. Smile, wear clean clothes, don't look or act tired, make sure you have everything in order, answers at the ready. Be courteous, efficient and exact. Most importantly - be honest, and be nice.
But, don't fool yourself; You can do everything right, all the time, and still not "qualify" for housing. See, the game is rigged. Housing managers aren't obligated to find you housing, or even help you find it, yourself. They're only obligated to get certain types of paperwork to fill their file(s), offer you the opportunity, then deftly disappear back into their woodwork.
It's an inefficient system, at best. But - as long as you're nice - you'll go far.
I wrote a post here recently about how messy it is to be homeless. How people don't really want to get involved with the minute details of it. They'd much rather deal in statistics, reports, studies, pictures, film, documentaries, and articles. Anything - except deal with the actual people, themselves.
And, I totally understand that. I myself - although I'd been homeless a number of times - know first-hand how messy it can be; You can't have a simple conversation with a homeless person, without their whole life pouring out, as if they're bursting at the seams. Why is that? I think it's because they get so few opportunities to vent. They're used to being ignored, overlooked and bypassed. So, that - when someone actually asks how they're doing - and sticks around for the answer - they tend to let it all hang out...
Try it, sometime. Stop - and ask a homeless person how they are. I doubt seriously you'll get the standard: "I'm fine, how are you?" Not because they don't know what the standard response is, but simply because they're NOT fine, and don't really feel like lying about it. What's the point? It's a waste of time. And time - to a homeless person - is a precious commodity. It's not something to be wasted or squandered. Ask a homeless person how they're doing, and you'll get a myriad of responses. Everything except "I'm fine, how are you?" You'll get:
- "Awww.... Mannn.... I'm tired..."
- "Good, good... Can't complain..."
- "I'd be better if my worker would just call me back..."
- "Well, the Good Lord saw fit to let me wake-up this morning, so I guess I'm alright..."
- "Hungry. Say, can you spare a dollar?"
Either that, or simply a cold stare. We call it The Thousand Mile Stare - that one where they heard you, they're just trying to figure out if you want to hear the truth, or not.
And, what I'd like to say to people is this: Ask anyway. Yes, that's right - ask anyway. Because that simple acknowledgement that you presume them to live amongst the human race, without flaw or fallacy is sometimes the lifeline that they need. Smile, pretend you don't see their rags and bags, that you don't know they're miserable, cold and hungry. Let them know you know that being homeless is not contagious, even when you secretly think it is. Sit, and stay a spell, as my wise grandmother used to say. Listen. Read between the lines, if they say they're fine (which I highly doubt they will), stay that extra beat of a second, and see if they feel like elaborating. You might just find you learn something. Whereas you'll be looking for an opportunity to help them, they just might help you. Those of you who volunteer know what I'm talking about. It's not contagious, it's temporary. But, for that temporary amount of time they exist in a homeless state, a sort of limbo - a painful purgatory - they like to be reminded that life and time are marching on. They like to be treated as equals, seen as individuals. It won't hurt, you know - to give fifteen minutes of your time to hear what they have to say. Stand with them, engage and even - if you can - entertain them. Entertain their hopes, dreams and current struggles even if you can't relate. That doesn't matter. It's your effort, that counts. I promise, at the end of it - you'll still have a house, and they still won't; Because, you see - homelessness is not contagious.
I feel guilty. Someone actually paid me for one of my blog posts. That's like rewarding a fish for swimming. Why? I write about what I feel, my experiences. The good, the bad and the ugly - as they say. It's not pretty, and I don't care to sugarcoat it. It is what it is...
My fellow advocates and I wring our hands in dismay, as the homeless count increases, and we don't see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. We wonder what's to be done to stem the tide, and accommodate the many men, women, children, disabled, elderly and handicapped who have their own, unique needs, wants and desires. It all seems so overwhelming.
I've actually been wanting to write about this for awhile. This thing called housing; It's messy. It's messy, because it's connected to people, and sometimes people are messy. They have messy lives, and messy situations, and messy thought patterns, and messy pasts, and messy families, and messy ways of dealing with problems. Some are in a constant state of panic, some are in denial, some cope - and therefore don't even think they need help. Some self-medicate. And, can you blame them? Really??
Prime example: This is a scenario my worker and I actually had:
Her: "Ok... well, we're going to need for you to look for housing..."
Me: "I don't have a car."
Her: "Well, can't you get a friend to take you?"
Me: "No, they work."
Her: "Well, you can take the bus, right?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't have much money."
Her: "Oh, well - I can give you some tokens."
Me: (Getting needlessly excited) "Great."
Her: "And, you should call the places before you visit them, to make an appointment, first."
Me: "I only have a pre-paid phone, with limited minutes."
Her: "Oh, well, can't you use the hotel phone?"
Me: "No, you had them block all outgoing calls, remember?"
Her: "Oh, yeah..."
She leaves, and comes back with ten tokens. What the hell am I supposed to do with TEN TOKENS??!! That barely gets me back to the hotel !
Not to sound ungrateful, but there's a serious disconnect between the types of services being offered to homeless people, and the services they really need. There's also too much reliance on charity and churches to fill the gaps government agencies either can't or won't fill. There's too much corruption, fraud, waste and abuse by government officials regarding the funding they get from HUD. They use those funds for their own benefit, at their own discretion, and with lax oversight, if any at all; And, until that changes, we can expect the homeless counts to go up, and up, and up, and up. Pretty soon, homelessness is just going to be a fact of life. And, when that happens, we are well and truly fucked. We need to move AWAY from housing inequality and homelessness as a cottage industry, and instead - move toward equality and the right to housing for ALL, regardless of race, religion, class, status and income.
Give it up when you're homeless. You have none. Anything and everything about you becomes public knowledge; Subject to scrutiny and judgement.
Privacy ? There is none. Anybody and everybody can ask you anything, anytime. Since being homeless 7 months ago, I've had some of the most disgusting people ask me some of the most disgusting things; As if - just because they have the power to help you (not that they actually do) that gives them license to probe into your past, present and future.
They want to know: What went wrong? How did you end up here? What bad decision, chance, roll of dice did you take which landed you on dead-end street? Then, they have the nerve to ask you to reassure them that it could never happen to them. Oh.... But it could.
They peer at you like you're an animal in the zoo. They poke at you psychologically, hoping they can find your soft spot. Then - when they do - they keep poking, and poking, and poking and poking. They're sadistic freaks, with no life of their own, so they live vicariously through us. It's just protocol (they say), it'll be kept private (they say), it's just for our files (they say), don't worry (they say), we have to abide by HIPAA (they say - as if they even know what that is).
Imagine all the skeletons you have safely tucked away in your closet come tumbling out - for all the world to see. Now imagine you have none, but people make up stuff to put in there? Imagine that.
Apparently, only people with homes deserve privacy. They don't have to show their id every time they want to buy something, or get a service. They don't have to justify their existence, all. the. time.....
It gets old, this constant walking around with no clothes on, exposed. Knowing that you're dealing with some of the most incompetent people in the world, but they've got your name, social security numbers, age, birth certificates private health information, phone numbers, children's personal information, everything - at their fingertips. Free to use and abuse at will. In this age of identity theft, they appear oblivious. We have nothing to steal, after all. We have nothing to protect - after all...We're nobody's - after all.
When you're homeless, you feel helpless. Sometimes, all we can do is listen. That's what I've been doing - a lot of listening.
Being a homeless and affordable housing advocate, not an elected official or government administrator, I have no real power to effect change; So, I do the next best thing: I listen.
I listened to a friend of mine, who told me she entered into an agreement with #HUD to do her time at a federally funded rehab facility; Promising to get clean, go to classes, volunteer at the facility, and - eventually help others on their road to sobriety.
The prize at the end of the rainbow was supposed to be movement out of that facility, and into transitional housing - then, ultimately - to a place of her own. That was 7 years ago; Although it was only supposed to be a temporary situation, it's turned into a morass of hell for her. She's sober. She's completed her volunteer work, she's helped more than her fair share of people see the light and comfort of sobriety. She's done. But, what happened to the promised transitional housing? Didn't happen. The apartment? Disappeared. 7 years later, she's still stuck in that same, depressing environment, for a seemingly endless amount of time - without hope. I asked her: "How did this happen?! What have you done to let them know that you're ready to move on?" She says she doesn't know. They make promise after empty promise: 'Not this year, maybe next.... Not this year, maybe next...' She says she's written letters to HUD. At first, nice, patient and logical: 'This is what you asked me to do... This is what I've done...', to now: Angry, impatient and demanding.
It should be no surprise to anyone familiar with HUD that they broke the promise they made to her. It should be no surprise to anyone familiar with local politics, that they kind of like her where she is - she is a useful and effective tool for the sober house she's employed by, now. It should be no surprise to anyone familiar with the Section 8 program that there are no houses, no vouchers, no nothing forthcoming - for YEARS.
When I talk to a group of people - it's almost like a contest: 'Whose Been on the HUD Wait-List The Longest?'. We all know the game, and it's rules: Apply, wait, re-apply - because - of course they 'lost' your original application. So, you do that, and the clock resets back to day one. Re-apply, and wait. Re-apply, and follow-up with phone inquiries. Wait, wait, wait... Then - wait some more. But, there's hope: If you know somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody who works for the Section 8 Program - you might get bumped up the list. If you're related to somebody who knows somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody - you'll get bumped up a little bit farther. Section 8 vouchers are equivalent to the Golden Ticket in Willy Wonkas' Chocolate Factory.
Your rent is supposedly calculated using a sophisticated (and often non-sensical) formula: A debt-to-income ratio caps your rent at no more than 30%-40% of your gross income. But, some places 'accidentally' miscalculate it, including such things as Social Security, Veterans disability payments, and Child Support as 'income'. But, be that as it may - the vouchers are supposed to give us the stability, safety and peace of mind not to have to worry about how we're gonna pay the rent next month. They're supposed to provide security. Except, I've also listened to many people who say that Section 8 landlords are the worst to rent from. They already 'accept' you, knowing you have nowhere else to go, and probably no one else to rent from. So, in their twisted minds - that gives them license to treat you like shit, and there's no one in government to disabuse them of that notion. Landlord/Tenant laws be damned - invariably, they harass and stalk you till the cows come home. But, it's such a "great government program", that I love to hear about all of it's 'benefits', so - I keep listening...
TO BE CONTINUED.........
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate liars. Despise them - can't abide them, WON'T abide them. What most people don't know is that I also have a built-in lie detector; Yeah, I can smell bullshit a mile away...
Social services lies all the time. They say - "just come to us if you need help, and we'll be here."
Oh, they'll 'be there', alright - armed and ready to lie to you (we have no housing, we have no funding, we have no.... nothing). 'We don't know the answer to that, we'll call you back, we're processing your application, the list goes on and on..... No. Help. At. All. In fact, when they're not brushing you off, they're busy humiliating you. When they're not busy humiliating you - they're harassing you. When they're not busy humiliating or harassing you, they're threatening you. Oh, yeah - they're TONS of "help" !
Then there's current County Executive Ike Leggett, who spouted some platitude about how nobody in his county should be without a home... What a crock.... All while he knew there was a dearth of affordable housing which the past County Executive Doug Duncan orchestrated, and Ike perpetrated; How? By allowing housing developers to slither out of their obligation to set-aside a certain percentage of their complexes for low to moderate income level renters/buyers. Hence - the dearth. WOW !!! Surprise, surprise that people are having to resort to sleeping on the streets, in over-crowded apartments, or ultimately leaving Montgomery County altogether. No.... That couldn't have been their master plan all along.... Could it? Because, that would make them evil, diabolical, manipulative assholes. Neither one of those clowns will be getting my vote in the upcoming race for County Executive, because I'm voting for Mickey Mouse. At least he's entertaining...
Shaun Donovan, former secretary of the federal Housing and Urban Development (HUD). First of all, dude - you're not really an architect, so you might wanna .... I don't know - take that off of your resume? It's called (say it with me): LYING. HUD is helping to eradicate homelessness? No, they're helping themselves to the billions of taxpayer money set aside to eradicate homelessness. That's what they're REALLY doing. Don't believe me? Just Google HUD+SCANDAL or HUD+CORRUPTION. You'll get all the proof you need...
Governor O'Malley claims to want to eradicate homelessness in his great state of Maryland? Oh? Is that why he's allowing public housing to be sold en masse to the highest bidder through RAD grants?
I could go on and on...
People say I'm lucky. Lucky, because I happen to be homeless in the best place to be homeless - a hop, skip and a jump from the nations Capital - Washington DC. Heck, Congressman Van Hollens office is literally right in my backyard; Or it would be if I had one....Surely the 'powers-that-be' wouldn't allow that to happen there.... ?!?!
See, I've lived, worked and volunteered in Rockville, Maryland for the last 25 years. But, apparently that's not good enough for the rich, upper crust here. No, they want me to shuck and jive, dance a jig - do blackface for their entertainment, sing for my supper, while they toss pennies into my hat. And, for that - I should be grateful.
"Oh, you're SO lucky !" (As if being homeless is a fortunate event...) "There're SO MANY RESOURCES available for you !!".... (Uuuhhhhhhh.... No.... There're not)
This is an election year, and it might seem that local politicians would jump at the chance to show that they support and care for their homeless Veteran population, but they can't even muster the energy to fake it. Nope, just can't be done.... Unfortunately, I've had to deal with a confederacy of dunces, and a long list of imbeciles which includes a shady cast of characters:
There's 'Liz' (her real name, I pull no punches here, and nobody gets any protection), a housing specialist whose affiliated with my counseling agency. She's just wayyyyyyyyyyy, wayyyyyyyyyyy "too busy" to give a shit about me.
There's Ike Leggett, current County Executive whose also wayyyyyyyyy, wayyyyyyyyyy too busy running his re-election campaign, and pandering to the white elite to even be bothered to return my phone calls, so he shunts me off to his henchman -
Michael Subin. What can I say about Mike? Just google his name, you'll figure him out soon enough.....
Then there's City Councilwoman - the token black - Virginia Onley. Sure, she's shuttled me back and forth from one seedy motel to the next, as she should, because her son (whose a Montgomery County Police Officer), was instrumental in evicting me illegally; But as far as any REAL advocacy or 'help'? Nope, not happening.
Let's not even talk about the merry band of bumbling idiots at DHHS (Department of Health and Human Resources), WOW. If 'incompetence' were a gold medal event at the Olympics, well - let's just say they'd sweep it, easily.
Then, there's Mayor Bridget Newton, whose just too cute for words. Really, that's about all she's good for. President Obama put forth his 'Mayors Challenge' for mayors across the country to sign up, as a commitment to ending homeless in their cities. Bridget couldn't be bothered. She was too busy - oh, hell - I don't know what was going through her mind that she couldn't or wouldn't take the time to pick up a lousy pen and sign her name to a largely symbolic commitment to end homelessness; I can't even venture a guess... Well, maybe I can - judging by the way I've been treated here, especially these last two years - Rockville City has made it crystal clear that it doesn't want low-income, or even moderate income residents to stick around and get too comfortable, for too long.
Forget the great quality of life purportedly offered here, in tony Montgomery County - that's not for 'us', it's for 'them', you know.... 'the others'. We're only supposed to be here just long enough to mow their expansive lawns, clean their McMansions, serve their gourmet meals, and wash their dirty laundry, not air it. Ooooops. Guess I didn't get that memo.....
