CONTAGION

I wrote a post here recently about how messy it is to be homeless.  How people don't really want to get involved with the minute details of it.  They'd much rather deal in statistics, reports, studies, pictures, film, documentaries, and articles.  Anything - except deal with the actual people, themselves.

And, I totally understand that.  I myself - although I'd been homeless a number of times - know first-hand how messy it can be; You can't have a simple conversation with a homeless person, without their whole life pouring out, as if they're bursting at the seams.  Why is that? I think it's because they get so few opportunities to vent.  They're used to being ignored, overlooked and bypassed.  So, that - when someone actually asks how they're doing - and sticks around for the answer - they tend to let it all hang out...

Try it, sometime.  Stop - and ask a homeless person how they are.  I doubt seriously you'll get the standard:  "I'm fine, how are you?"  Not because they don't know what the standard response is, but simply because they're NOT fine, and don't really feel like lying about it. What's the point?  It's a waste of time.  And time - to a homeless person - is a precious commodity.  It's not something to be wasted or squandered.  Ask a homeless person how they're doing, and you'll get a myriad of responses.  Everything except "I'm fine, how are you?"  You'll get:

• "Awww.... Mannn.... I'm tired..."
• "Good, good... Can't complain..."
• "I'd be better if my worker would just call me back..."
• "Well, the Good Lord saw fit to let me wake-up this morning, so I guess I'm alright..."
• "Hungry.  Say, can you spare a dollar?"

Either that, or simply a cold stare.  We call it The Thousand Mile Stare - that one where they heard you, they're just trying to figure out if you want to hear the truth, or not.

And, what I'd like to say to people is this:  Ask anyway.  Yes, that's right - ask anyway. Because that simple acknowledgement that you presume them to live amongst the human race, without flaw or fallacy is sometimes the lifeline that they need.  Smile, pretend you don't see their rags and bags, that you don't know they're miserable, cold and hungry.  Let them know you know that being homeless is not contagious, even when you secretly think it is.  Sit, and stay a spell, as my wise grandmother used to say.  Listen.  Read between the lines, if they say they're fine (which I highly doubt they will), stay that extra beat of a second, and see if they feel like elaborating.  You might just find you learn something.  Whereas you'll be looking for an opportunity to help them, they just might help you.  Those of you who volunteer know what I'm talking about.  It's not contagious, it's temporary.  But, for that temporary amount of time they exist in a homeless state, a sort of limbo - a painful purgatory - they like to be reminded that life and time are marching on.  They like to be treated as equals, seen as individuals.  It won't hurt, you know - to give fifteen minutes of your time to hear what they have to say.  Stand with them, engage and even - if you can - entertain them.  Entertain their hopes, dreams and current struggles even if you can't relate.  That doesn't matter.  It's your effort, that counts.  I promise, at the end of it - you'll still have a house, and they still won't;  Because, you see - homelessness is not contagious.

PUBLISHED

I feel guilty.  Someone actually paid me for one of my blog posts.  That's like rewarding a fish for swimming.  Why?  I write about what I feel, my experiences. The good, the bad and the ugly - as they say.  It's not pretty, and I don't care to sugarcoat it.  It is what it is...

My fellow advocates and I wring our hands in dismay, as the homeless count increases, and we don't see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.  We wonder what's to be done to stem the tide, and accommodate the many men, women, children, disabled, elderly and handicapped who have their own, unique needs, wants and desires.  It all seems so overwhelming.

I've actually been wanting to write about this for awhile.  This thing called housing; It's messy.  It's messy, because it's connected to people, and sometimes people are messy.  They have messy lives, and messy situations, and messy thought patterns, and messy pasts, and messy families, and messy ways of dealing with problems.  Some are in a constant state of panic, some are in denial, some cope - and therefore don't even think they need help.  Some self-medicate.  And, can you blame them?  Really??

Prime example:  This is a scenario my worker and I actually had:

Her:  "Ok... well, we're going to need for you to look for housing..."
Me:  "I don't have a car."
Her:  "Well, can't you get a friend to take you?"
Me:  "No, they work."
Her:  "Well, you can take the bus, right?"
Me:  "Yes, but I don't have much money."
Her:  "Oh, well - I can give you some tokens."
Me:    (Getting needlessly excited) "Great."
Her:  "And, you should call the places before you visit them, to make an     appointment, first."
Me:  "I only have a pre-paid phone, with limited minutes."
Her:  "Oh, well, can't you use the hotel phone?"
Me:  "No, you had them block all outgoing calls, remember?"
Her:  "Oh, yeah..."
She leaves, and comes back with ten tokens.  What the hell am I supposed to do with TEN TOKENS??!!  That barely gets me back to the hotel !

Not to sound ungrateful, but there's a serious disconnect between the types of services being offered to homeless people, and the services they really need. There's also too much reliance on charity and churches to fill the gaps government agencies either can't or won't fill.  There's too much corruption, fraud, waste and abuse by government officials regarding the funding they get from HUD.  They use those funds for their own benefit, at their own discretion, and with lax oversight, if any at all;  And, until that changes, we can expect the homeless counts to go up, and up, and up, and up.  Pretty soon, homelessness is just going to be a fact of life.  And, when that happens, we are well and truly fucked.  We need to move AWAY from housing inequality and homelessness as a cottage industry, and instead - move toward equality and the right to housing for ALL, regardless of race, religion, class, status and income.